what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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