I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize