I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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