i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
