is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I stole a fireplace last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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