Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
