I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
