yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
