worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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