I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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