I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
