p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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