I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I wish I only lived at night.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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