well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
