Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
