Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
