Whod you bang
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
