Texts From Last Night

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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.

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  (412): I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship. http://tfl.nu/nd0o
  Replies (20) Good night (2885) Bad night (759)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again

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  (610): ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again http://tfl.nu/ywr6
  Replies (11) Good night (4221) Bad night (743)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"

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  (412): Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces" http://tfl.nu/4r9u
  Replies (20) Good night (1224) Bad night (5890)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.

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  (902): Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left. http://tfl.nu/ytq9
  Replies (28) Good night (7288) Bad night (970)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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  (479): I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head. http://tfl.nu/p8jq
  Replies (20) Good night (1454) Bad night (4425)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.

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  (610): I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously. http://tfl.nu/zt1t
  Replies (10) Good night (1198) Bad night (2884)
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.

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  (709): I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April. http://tfl.nu/hy0p
  Replies (5) Good night (1548) Bad night (1040)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.

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  (469): You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk. http://tfl.nu/g688
  Replies (2) Good night (2403) Bad night (738)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.

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  (908): She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible. http://tfl.nu/itsw
  Replies (7) Good night (623) Bad night (1055)
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  (510): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...

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  (510): I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant... http://tfl.nu/doz4
  Replies (17) Good night (623) Bad night (1840)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol

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  (317): Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol http://tfl.nu/rsq8
  Replies (8) Good night (1015) Bad night (334)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick

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  (770): I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick http://tfl.nu/l70j
  Replies (3) Good night (907) Bad night (629)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you

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  (513): I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you http://tfl.nu/l7rb
  Replies (0) Good night (766) Bad night (282)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.

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  (832): Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties. http://tfl.nu/yjtl
  Replies (8) Good night (508) Bad night (690)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.

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  (303): Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win. http://tfl.nu/fxme
  Replies (2) Good night (410) Bad night (442)

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