Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.

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  (925): never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont. http://tfl.nu/mow4
  Replies (52) Good night (722) Bad night (4194)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....

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  (443): We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich.... http://tfl.nu/i7fe
  Replies (100) Good night (38924) Bad night (1503)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.

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  (613): I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went. http://tfl.nu/jkvp
  Replies (14) Good night (5069) Bad night (1265)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.

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  (865): just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke. http://tfl.nu/o9qp
  Replies (5) Good night (4740) Bad night (1038)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.

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  (719): Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right. http://tfl.nu/8sag
  Replies (12) Good night (4145) Bad night (1100)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.

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  (571): FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool. http://tfl.nu/xgys
  Replies (3) Good night (2396) Bad night (759)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies

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  (318): What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies http://tfl.nu/mqvt
  Replies (4) Good night (915) Bad night (1997)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying

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  (+61): Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying http://tfl.nu/56hl
  Replies (8) Good night (1714) Bad night (693)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool

  (210): View more from Texas

  No

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  (512): Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool (210): No http://tfl.nu/m5ry
  Replies (4) Good night (2090) Bad night (680)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life

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  (219): googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life http://tfl.nu/fhns
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (1315)
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  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet

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  (44): All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet http://tfl.nu/lx51
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (1670)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.

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  (+61): He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked. http://tfl.nu/a1rb
  Replies (2) Good night (926) Bad night (425)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles

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  (434): After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles http://tfl.nu/5yst
  Replies (6) Good night (987) Bad night (535)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits

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  (425): I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits http://tfl.nu/tp61
  Replies (5) Good night (580) Bad night (435)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business

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  (269): Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business http://tfl.nu/b5lq
  Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (459)

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