oh god the rape fog is back!
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
