hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.