Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason