I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.