I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
