Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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