You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
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I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
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Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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