i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
