he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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