Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
