Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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