I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
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There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize