we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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