WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
