Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
