Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
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