her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
