If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
