okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
i need some magic done to my vagina
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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