I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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