I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm always down for nudity.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
