so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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