At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize