its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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