Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
