I just made out with a guy for $7.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
