I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
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She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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