The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
