You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
