Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
