he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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