I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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