then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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