Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize