it's like iHOP with fire
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
