3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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