Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
