Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
that's an acceptable place to lick
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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