We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
