the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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