This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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