It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
