D3 body, D1 cock
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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