therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
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I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
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I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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