Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize