Why are handjobs necessary in class?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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