Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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