just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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