Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
